Horoscopes for the 50+ Woman

Have you ever wondered why fashion magazines have a horoscope column? As an avid reader of fashion magazines, I sometimes check out my horoscope – just for fun. Elle magazine had this to say for me on August, 15, 2014:

Ooh la la, Aquarius. You’re sending out serious signals as messenger Mercury decamps to your sultry eighth house until September 2. While you’re normally an open book, keep your cards closer to your vest for a couple weeks. Let people work a little harder to get your time and attention—this only makes them want you more. Your fascination with a mystical or spiritual subject intensifies too. Dive in! You might even expand your own intuitive (even psychic) powers.
My thoughts: There’s a cute little store near one of my TWO, non-sultry houses called Ooh La La. I don’t wear vests. I’ve been thinking about writing fewer words every day. Will you want me more if I do? While in Rome, I was fascinated by the Vestal Virgins.  I wonder if they wore vests? My intuition tells me not to take this mystical horoscope subject too serious.

And AARP The Magazine (sorry, not a fashion mag) enlightened me with this:

This is a fabulous day to take part in a discussion or serious conversation. You’ll have plenty to say for yourself, but encourage everyone else to have their say too. You’re interested in knowing about other beliefs and ways of life, especially if you’re getting them straight from the horse’s mouth.

So, am I to assume that there are different interpretations to my star chart? Elle suggests I not be such an open book. AARP says it’s a fabulous day to talk. I won’t be getting any news straight from the Vestal Virgins’ mouths. Even if they wore vests, they’re dead.

And from Glamour magazine:

Celebration is the name of your sign’s game today. That said, you should also expect for all your sign’s ‘usual’ traits to be doubly potent: Rebelliousness, outrageousness and an even more eager willingness to shock and amaze the masses in any way you can. Talk about a good time! Oh, and you’ve also got a heavenly pass to startle your family right now — which, honestly, has always been your favorite pastime.

I really like this one! Who doesn’t like a celebration? Even if it’s rebellion and outrageousness that you’re celebrating. And oh yea, don’t let me forget my favorite pastime! My southern, Christian mother is now horrified, shocked and amazed that her daughter is reading a daily horoscope.

Now, you know why fashion magazines add a horoscope column. It’s so us women over 50 can talk about a good time! So, Beatrice… what’s your sign?

Zodiac Chart

 

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