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Day 14: It’s all About the Marriage – Not the Wedding

31 Days of Starting OverIs it about the marriage or the wedding? Bridezilla’s, Say Yes to the Dress, David Tutera: Unveiled..  What has happened to the American wedding scene?  Are weddings still something to look forward to? Do they still hold the same purpose of joining two hearts together as one? Are they still fun?

It’s about marriage

The most fun wedding I’ve ever attended…  was the wedding of my cousin, Jacob Morgan to his beautiful bride, Anna.  I had met Anna a few times before this celebration, but I must say, “she had me at hello” on her wedding day.  If all brides took cues from this beautiful (inside and out) young lady, weddings would ring in a whole new era of successful marriages and perhaps divorce would be cast off like a throw-away bouquet. The Most Beautiful Bride I've Ever Witness

The Most Beautiful Bride I’ve Ever WitnessedYou see, to Anna, it was all about the marriage and not about the wedding.  It was her attitude about marrying the “man of her dreams” that made her wedding the most beautiful I have ever attended.

One Happy Bride
One Happy Bride

As soon as they pronounced them husband and wife, her reaction was to cheer in celebration of being Mrs. Jacob Morgan.

Her tears as he washes her feet. Reminds me of the woman with the alabaster box.
Her tears as he washes her feet.

And right after this, one of the very first acts as husband to this beautiful lady, my cousin, Jacob, washed her feet.  There was not a dry eye in the church. No wonder she was so happy.

After our tears during the foot washing, the attendees were then laughing as the couple led the way out the doors. There was not a “proper” recessional, but this couple left the chapel to the song “Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night.”

THE Celebration.
THE Celebration.

Now, I know that all brides are suppose to be beautiful and they ARE! But, knowing this brides’ heart is truly what made her the most beautiful one this writer has ever seen.  This wedding was just a means to an end.  I am sure she had dreamed of her wedding day, just like every other young girl.  But, I think her dreams were different than most.  I guess that I would not be far off if I imagined that all her daydreams looked past the dress, veil, bridesmaids, maid of honor, and flower girl. I think she must have focused on the walk down the aisle with the scene zoomed in to where the groom would be standing. I think Anna must have dreamed about what he would be like, instead of what “her” day would entail.  In fact, this day didn’t seem to be about her at all.  The whole day seemed to be about them. Every opportunity to “show off” her husband was seized.

She seems to be saying
She seems to be saying “look at my husband.”

The following was copied and pasted from “Covenant: The Oneness of Covenant”, a study called “The Covenant of Marriage”, by Precept Ministries.

There is no better illustration of the sharing of a common life than the marriage covenant where “a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave (debaq) which is related to a word in modern Hebrew meaning “glue“. Dabaq includes the idea of active, dynamic contact & positive aspects such as loyalty & fidelity which calls husbands to cleave, cling, stick to, stick with, follow closely, catch, keep close to our wives.) to his wife” (Ge 2:24). What the husband owns now belongs to the wife and vice versa.   

I believe that this wedding in particular was just that, an illustration of the future sharing of a common life.  We will all be one in Christ someday, just as these two and many others have become one in marriage. What a beautiful wedding!  What a beautiful bride!  What a beautiful groom! What a perfect union truly “commended and deemed honorable among all men.” And I am still thinking about it over 3 years later.

My wish for all brides in the future is not that you say yes to the dress. I pray you are saying yes to a man and to a life. Anna, changed into her travel clothes to head off on her honeymoon and her dress was found “wadded up” in a bag after their departure.

I don’t wish for an expensive ceremony that tops all other ceremonies. I wish that your feet would be washed by your groom.

I don’t wish for photography that shows your lovely veil and up-do. I hope that the love for your husband and his for you is the star of the show.

And my wish for all brides is that your reception would be the beginning of one long party with the man of your dreams.  Anna’s Facebook page titles her wedding album “The Best Day of My Life” and I believe her. To see what came next in their marriage, read about their adoption.

The marriage begins...
The marriage begins…

Continue reading this 31 day writing challenge with Day 15: Starting Over with Less

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