The Result of a Sneeze

On Tuesday of this week I woke up a little blue.

Blue Morning
Blue Morning

I know you’ve all been there at least once in your life, where the minute you open your eyes, the clouds begin to gather. In an effort to avoid a day of depression, I got out of bed and planned my day. On the agenda was a haircut at my favorite salon. Ladies, you know how getting our hair done is almost as much fun as a new outfit? Well, not today. I’ve been taken behind the woodshed.

I entered the salon and my stylist greeted me. She invited me to the shampoo room and as I entered, I sneezed. She turned to me and asked about my having the sniffles. I explained that no, it was nothing contagious, I have chronic sinus trouble. What happened next is nothing short of hilarious, if you’re a sadist.

Of course, she had no idea what type of clouds had gathered over my head that morning, but the thoughts that were trying to out-shout my cheerful mood, included those that haunt me most often. As most of you know, I struggle with my weight. I LOVE fashion and yet rarely feel good in my clothes because of my weight. So in addition to gloomy weather, these were some of the thoughts going through my head.

It seems that my stylist has had an epiphany concerning nutrition and how our choices affect not only our own health but our loved ones who care for us in our old age. In a nutshell, my choices that have caused me to be overweight and unhealthy (due to my sneeze) will ultimately cause my family heartache as they care for me in the future. Mind you, I said this in just a few words. She lectured me for 35 minutes on everything from exercise to the affects of wheat and dairy on the body. Ultimately, the question that kept going through my mind was, “how does she know whether I eat dairy, wheat or cardboard?”

I’m not upset with her. I know she’s probably right and it’s very likely that I needed to hear it. However, it’s just a little unpleasant to experience the new intolerance in person. But… the cloud has lifted as my daughter so eloquently put her in her place… “she’s only your therapist in theory, and all she needed to say was, bless you!”

Thank you, my wiser-than-my-stylist, daughter.



5 thoughts on “The Result of a Sneeze

  1. I’ve ditched hairdressers for less than this.
    I don’t know why they think they are the experts on anything except hair. – Ouch! now that I read that, it’s harsh, but you know what? I stand by it.
    I was lectured numerous times by my former hairdresser on everything from health to childrearing. JUST CUT MY DANG HAIR, LADY!

  2. Remarkable quote from William Gibson. He definitely hit the nail on the head. I wonder sometimes about certain people and whether they are truly insensitive or just plain ignorant!!! Either way calls for distance, distance, distance . .

  3. That is a funny story. I had a optometrist who was fitting me with bifocal contacts he told me to be careful as I walk down steps because I could fall and break my hip. If I fall and break my hip I could be dead within a year. He told me other stuff related to old age to. I thought this was funny but I think I need to see a different optometrist.

    “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” William Gibson

Leave a Reply