Wedding Weekends

Tomorrow my nephew will be a groom, my sister will walk the aisle as the “mother of the groom” and we will be celebrating with friends and family. As my sisters and I discussed what we would wear during this wedding weekend, it reminded me of how much weddings have changed from when I was a young bride.

Way back then, most weddings were performed in churches, homes or outdoor gardens. Now brides walk down the aisle in barns, on the beach, in football stadiums and even jump out of airplanes. The dress styles have had to change with the times and now it is often confusing as to what guests or members of the wedding party should wear. I made suggestions in my post Wedding Guest Dresses, but would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

Is it still true that if a wedding is in a church and after 5 pm, it is considered a formal wedding? If it is held in a barn, can guests assume the dress is casual? And what about second marriages? Or vow renewals? Does the formality of the invitation indicate what type affair it will be?

Diane Davis is a photographer here on the coast and she captures the beauty of beach weddings perfectly. Her company, “I Do Gulf Coast Weddings,” creates the perfect story of these events on our sandy shores. You can feel the sand under your feet, the gentle breeze blowing a few tendrils of hair, imagine the gulls squawking and waves crashing in every photo.

Number 3 Resized

In this 15-Year Vow-Renewal, the mood is relaxed and casual. I imagine the guests in sundresses and casual slacks.

I Do

From this day forward

This young couple, Kelsi and Justin, suggest dressy-casual.

For Better or Worse

The gulf waters are a fitting backdrop to the sparkling smiles on these two faces. I envision the party of Holly and Jarvis to be lively and entertaining and guests to be dressed somewhat sporty.

Something Blue

After a more formal affair with the groom in a summer suit, I love that her prince carries her “something-blue” slippers after a night at the ball.


 

To Have and to Hold

Here my friends, Pat and Ted Dupre marry in the Chapel at Monte Carlo a few years ago. Hers is the perfect dress for a second wedding. Sunday morning church attire is what I imagine with their guests. However, she is such a sweetheart that I can hear her saying, “just come on, I don’t care what you wear!” Open arms and open heart!

Wedding Weekend

My cousin Mallory and husband Ross after their wedding in Nashville, Tennessee. This photo suggests formal attire for everyone. Gorgeous!

She seems to be saying "look at my husband."

A very happy couple and one of the most fun weddings I’ve ever attended. It was all about the marriage – not the wedding.

Baseball Field

Dustin and Ashlyn will be married tomorrow in a church in Huntsville, AL. They could just as easily have been married on a baseball field with all of us in shorts and t-shirts. After all, they met at a baseball game and the proposal included a real “baseball diamond.”

A Baseball Diamond

May the Lord in HIS goodness strengthen your commitment and fill you both with HIS blessings.

Love you!

For more information on your beach wedding, contact:

Diane Davis Photography

Gulf Shores, AL 36542

Cell: 251-978-4754

Day 14: It’s all About the Marriage – Not the Wedding

31 Days of Starting OverBridezilla’s, Say Yes to the Dress, David Tutera: Unveiled..  What has happened to the American wedding scene?  Are weddings still something to look forward to? Do they still hold the same purpose of joining two hearts together as one? Are they still fun?

The most fun wedding I’ve ever attended…  was the wedding of my cousin, Jacob Morgan to his beautiful bride, Anna.  I had met Anna a few times before this celebration, but I must say, “she had me at hello” on her wedding day.  If all brides took cues from this beautiful (inside and out) young lady, weddings would ring in a whole new era of successful marriages and perhaps divorce would be cast off like a throw-away bouquet. The Most Beautiful Bride I've Ever Witness

The Most Beautiful Bride I’ve Ever Witnessed

You see, to Anna, it was all about the marriage and not about the wedding.  It was her attitude about marrying the “man of her dreams” that made her wedding the most beautiful I have ever attended.

One Happy Bride
One Happy Bride

As soon as they pronounced them husband and wife, her reaction was to cheer in celebration of being Mrs. Jacob Morgan.

Her tears as he washes her feet.  Reminds me of the woman with the alabaster box.
Her tears as he washes her feet.

And right after this, one of the very first acts as husband to this beautiful lady, my cousin, Jacob, washed her feet.  There was not a dry eye in the church. No wonder she was so happy.

After our tears during the foot washing, the attendees were then laughing as the couple led the way out the doors. There was not a “proper” recessional, but this couple left the chapel to the song “Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night.”

THE Celebration.
THE Celebration.

Now, I know that all brides are suppose to be beautiful and they ARE! But, knowing this brides’ heart is truly what made her the most beautiful one this writer has ever seen.  This wedding was just a means to an end.  I am sure she had dreamed of her wedding day, just like every other young girl.  But, I think her dreams were different than most.  I guess that I would not be far off if I imagined that all her daydreams looked past the dress, veil, bridesmaids, maid of honor, and flower girl. I think she must have focused on the walk down the aisle with the scene zoomed in to where the groom would be standing. I think Anna must have dreamed about what he would be like, instead of what “her” day would entail.  In fact, this day didn’t seem to be about her at all.  The whole day seemed to be about them. Every opportunity to “show off” her husband was seized.

She seems to be saying "look at my husband."
She seems to be saying “look at my husband.”

The following was copied and pasted from “Covenant: The Oneness of Covenant”, a study called “The Covenant of Marriage”, by Precept Ministries.

There is no better illustration of the sharing of a common life than the marriage covenant where “a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave (debaq) which is related to a word in modern Hebrew meaning “glue“. Dabaq includes the idea of active, dynamic contact & positive aspects such as loyalty & fidelity which calls husbands to cleave, cling, stick to, stick with, follow closely, catch, keep close to our wives.) to his wife” (Ge 2:24). What the husband owns now belongs to the wife and vice versa.   

I believe that this wedding in particular was just that, an illustration of the future sharing of a common life.  We will all be one in Christ someday, just as these two and many others have become one in marriage. What a beautiful wedding!  What a beautiful bride!  What a beautiful groom! What a perfect union truly “commended and deemed honorable among all men.” And I am still thinking about it over 3 years later.

My wish for all brides in the future is not that you say yes to the dress. I pray you are saying yes to a man and to a life. Anna, changed into her travel clothes to head off on her honeymoon and her dress was found “wadded up” in a bag after their departure.

I don’t wish for an expensive ceremony that tops all other ceremonies. I wish that your feet would be washed by your groom.

I don’t wish for photography that shows your lovely veil and up-do. I hope that the love for your husband and his for you is the star of the show.

And my wish for all brides is that your reception would be the beginning of one long party with the man of your dreams.  Anna’s Facebook page titles her wedding album “The Best Day of My Life” and I believe her.

The party begins...
The party begins…

Day 9: Starting Over After an Argument

31 Days of Starting OverI am a pouter. Or as I like to put it, I just need a few days to mull things over.  Until my late 40’s, there wasn’t much that needed mulling over, but then it’s like I just woke up one day – mad as a hornet and I’ve been mulling ever since.  Lack of estrogen, I’m told, will do that to a woman.

As most of you know, my husband is perfect, so who or what am I mulling about?  It can be anything; the speed of the internet, a driver on the interstate, a choice made by a family member that I don’t agree with or my crown may have been set askew on top of my head for a few minutes. Trust me, my little kingdom has protocol to meet and when it missteps…. there can be repercussions.

Don't let the straight crown fool you, I'm definitely mulling things over in this picture.
Don’t let the straight crown fool you, I’m definitely mulling things over in this picture.

Now once I’ve had my little temper tantrum, mulled things over and decided to right the crown, what then?

  • First things first – admit where I was wrong, apologize and ask for their forgiveness – unless it is the internet that I can’t forgive.
  • Tell them where they were wrong… oops, that just starts it all over again.  Actually, this is just a step to clarify what hurt ME, why and how we can avoid this in the future.
  • Discuss how I hurt them – I don’t stop for people I’ve run off the road, however.
  • Give little signals that this is how you read my mind in the future.
Photo Credit: poundingtherock.com
Photo Credit: poundingtherock.com
  • Have a little pow-wow about everything they’ve done in the past, just in case they missed it in the last “discussion.”
  • Give the silent treatment to all valid points the other person makes. Sticking my nose in the air is usually a dead giveaway that said treatment has begun.
photo credit: liz11lizzy.deviantart.com -
photo credit: liz11lizzy.deviantart.com –
  • Take everything that is said by the other person personally, after all, it is personal.
  • Assign a “time-out” to the offender.  To my perfect husband, we have a little joke to lighten the moment – once all of the above “attempts” at reconciliation have been met, one of us will say to the other,

“You have been a very bad boy/girl.  Now go to my room!”

In all seriousness, arguments are not funny, but sometimes they are necessary.  If you are like me and need mulling time, just try not to “let the sun go down on your anger.”  Adding flavor to the relationship is good, but once things go sour, it’s hard to sweeten them back up again.

If you catch me with my nose in the air, offer me an apple cider.  I’m sure the mulling spices will help lower my chin.