While in England, it may be surprising to find out that I loved the accent and the phrases the service staff used in restaurants and deli’s. My favorite one was when I ordered tea and the young lady asked in a lovely accent, “Is this to take away?” Being from the south, I had to ask her to repeat the question because I hear very slowly and what I’m used to hearing is, “Is this to go?”

Tea Room in Grasmere Garden Village

Tea Room in Grasmere Village

Grasmere Garden Village

Grasmere Garden Village

“To go” orders remind me of a few funny stories that I have to share.  The first is of a friend whose elderly mother went through a drive-thru for the first time. She spoke her order into the speaker and after they gave her the total, she yelled back at the speaker, “Oh, and that’s all to go!” Of course, her two adult daughters in the car with her cracked up and she had no clue why they were laughing.  Some things are better enjoyed in the dark….

Another story involves my son at the age of 2. He loved playing in his Papa’s fishing boat so we’d lift him up into the boat in the backyard and he’d pretend to drive. On one Saturday morning, as he was “driving” the boat, he leaned into the depth finder and in his sweet southern accent said, “I’ll take a hambuuga, fries and a coke.” It was a sad state of our dining affairs.

And last but not least, a story about a drunk looking for the cafeteria in a hospital. My mom was recently in the hospital and I was standing in the elevator lobby waiting on a visitor who didn’t know where Mom’s room was located.  The elevator doors opened and a man staggered out in camo pants and an Alabama sweatshirt. He stood there and stared at me.  (Also, it needs to be said that this was the day of the Alabama vs. Auburn football game.) I couldn’t help but chuckle under my breath because of his obvious inebriated state. So I asked, “are you looking for the 6th floor?” To which he grunted yes.  So I said in my happiest voice with hands spread out, “You’re here-er.” He then started walking down the hall and got about halfway and turned back around. He then asked me, “what floor is the cafeteria on?” So, just in case he might not understand the word, “two,” I held up two fingers.  So he walked back to the elevator, but didn’t push a button. He turned to me and I promise he asked…”do I go up or down?” He got on the next elevator going down, but I have no hope that he made it to the cafeteria.

I was hopeful at that moment that someone would ask me if he was to “take away,” as the proverbial paddy wagon was no where in site. So what do you take away from this article?

  1. Not all drive-thru orders are to take away.
  2. Depth finders can do more than locate fish.
  3. Elevators can be complicated after a football loss.