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How to Become an In-Love Not an In-Law

As wedding season swings into full bloom, brides across the globe are not only saying “I do” to their grooms, but to his family as well. There’s marriage counseling for the couple and Proverbs 31 is a guide for brides to become a woman of worth. But, where can parents or siblings of the couple learn to be in-law’s that are worth more than rubies? How can they become an in-love rather than an in-law. I propose from the same precept that teaches us how to be excellent wives and mothers.

Bride with Bouquet

A Proverbs 31 Woman

Consider with me the pearls of wisdom found in Proverbs 31:10-31 for a daughter, mother or sister-in-law. In verse 10 we find the author asking where to find an excellent wife. I am one of the most blessed women, in that I have the very best mother in-law a lady could ever ask for. But, I know women who ask, “An excellent in-law, who can find?”


How to Become an In-Love, Not an In-Law

Let’s define what an excellent in-law would be according to these verses. An excellent woman according to the Hebrew definition of these words is one who is a force of virtue, valor, strength and is an influence to others. I have made a few personal suggestions that tie in with these verses..

  • She (bride and mother/sister-in-love) lives in a way that creates trust from her family.
  • Considering the reputation and character of the family name, she makes choices that keeps the name in good repute. A mother-in-love considers the importance of her daughter-in-love’s family name, as well.
  • A mother-in-love looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She enjoys sharing handmade and purchased gifts with her adult children and grandchildren. blank
  • She brings her food from afar, keeping records of favorite dishes and food allergies


  • Food for the household is prepared early and she saves a portion for those in need. (This could include the newly married couple, who make good use of leftovers.)
  • She considers a field and buys it and is a good example of managing money.
  • She is physically fit and takes care of herself.

Woman walking from field

  • She works hard. She cloths her children/grandchildren.
  • She volunteers to help the needy.Volunteering
  • She is organized and plans ahead for the upcoming season.
  • She dresses in nice clothing, conscientious of her appearance.woman with scarf
  • She is optimistic about the future and cheerful in nature. She lives a life that leaves a legacy.
  • Her words are considered carefully and she speaks with kindness.


A woman who strives to become a Proverbs 31 woman, is a woman worth more than rubies. This has been a sweet, gentle reminder for me. How do you show love to your in-laws?



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