Resolutions. I never follow through with them. I make them every year. It’s just one more thing to feel I’m a failure at, so why do it again? I always have these grand goals of something huge I want to accomplish, but I think “it’s too big for me.” It cost too much money. It would take too much effort that I’m probably not going to use. I think projects are too big, yet I know I’m a big girl. I’m well-educated and have managed to accomplish many things in my life. When I’ve looked back over 2013, I’ve been amazed at the things I’ve accomplished – yet, there is a cloud hanging over 2014.
It’s a dark cloud of what-ifs and don’t try it, you’ll never accomplish it. It’s a cloud of how-do-I-do-it, and when, why and who do I need to be in touch with? I physically live in two places and travel back and forth between the two sometimes more often that I change underwear. So, where do I concentrate most of my time?
I am a tale of two cities. My husband, (who is my soul mate and very best friend) is lots of fun, loves the beach and plans lots of activities for us to do together is one city. My daughter and my family that I love more than words can express are in another city. My closest friends are in that city. Sometimes I actually feel that my heart is torn in two. I know that his heart is on the coast, while mine is further north- some of the time. I must have multiple personalities, because when I’m south, I’m blissfully happy, and then when I’m north, yep – I’m blissfully happy. Great problem to have, don’t ya think?
I’ve had an acquaintance answer the “where” question with this, “Your place is with your husband – period.” As a Christ-follower, I believe that. I love being with my husband. But what if your husband appreciates that you are helping family members who are ill, making huge life changes through divorce or placing a loved one in a nursing home? My daughter may end up living in some far away place once she graduates from college. I have 1-2 years left of knowing where she is and that I am only 4 hours away.
The friends that I have in Birmingham are long-time friends. Some are childhood friends that I’ve known since kindergarten. I LOVE spending time with them. And before you suggest that I talk to them from Fairhope over the phone, I am NOT a phone girl. I used to be when my kids were little, but now it’s a struggle to get my phone calls made. As I age, I can’t seem to multitask as well as I used to. When my phone rings, I sit down.
So as I sit now, thinking about 2014 and the goals and resolutions I want to make, I’m a bit sad. I’m a lot nervous. And a lot apprehensive. I am soon to be 54 years old. I don’t feel it! Sometimes, I don’t even believe it. But one way that I know it’s true, is because of the aging that is happening all around me. My daughter is a junior in college, my son will turn 29 next year and my parents are in their 70’s. My baby sisters are in their 40’s. I know these are just numbers, and young ones now a days… 40 is the new 30, etc. But, with every year that passes, it seems our hurdles to jump are a little harder. Perhaps it’s because of arthritis or torn LCL’s or leg cramps. In some cases, it has been cancer and our loved ones didn’t make the jump or at least not the one we would have preferred. Friends are losing their parents and others are walking a little more bent over than they used to. Some are in wheelchairs.
Life is hard and I want to make my goals important. Time is precious and I want to use it wisely.
How many of you ladies are afraid to set goals and make resolutions, because you are afraid of failure? Or even success? Or afraid you’ll make a resolution and look back on December 31st and realize it wasn’t a worthy goal in the first place?
Well, all of this is to say, that I’m there with you. However, I’m trying something a whole lot different this year. I’m going through a workbook. 2014 Create Your Amazing Year by Leonie Dawson. She went through this same scenario a few years back and made her own notebook. Now she has shared it with over 35,000 women who tell amazing stories of how it helped them remain focused on the things that matter.
I will go ahead and warn you that Leonie is a “free-spirit” type girlie. She lets an ugly word fly every now and then and rambles in her videos occasionally, but she is a mother, 6 figure business owner, and has some great tips for business women. Of course, for me, she has a whole workbook on blogging, so I’m already hooked.
I’ll be writing about the whole process of course, and would love to know how you feel about resolutions, goal setting, etc. Let’s help each other stay on task in 2014, keeping the most important things, the most important things.